Saturday, September 18, 2010

Parenting Math

No one said anything yesterday.  Didn't you know it was an important day at our house?  I'll never forget September 17, 2005.  I wrote it down in several waiting rooms.  I looked at calendars to verify.  I can't believe it's been that long...

It was the first day of my last period when I got pregnant with Seth. 

Now, please forgive me if you're not my target audience.  Single men and men without children don't know how important that day is.  It is the day you use to calculate the baby's due date.  It's a big deal.  And I'm sorry if I just grossed anyone out.

Since then, I've been pregnant, breastfeeding, or pregnant & breastfeeding without a break.  That means that I've been eating for two or three for

So if you don't know whether to congratulate me or give me condolences, I understand. 

Now for the Math:
  • We had four babies in less than four years. 
  • We've changed no less than 8,175 diapers and we usually have 2 in diapers (we only had 3 in diapers for 7 months). 
  • We've done about 1,000 loads of laundry. 
  • By themselves, our children have consumed over 200 gallons of milk, over 2,000 bananas, and at least 100 DOZEN eggs.  
  • We've received and handed down hundreds of articles of clothing every size from 0 to 6 years for every gender... including hermaphrodites.
  • We've kissed hundreds of boo-boos. 
  • We've cleaned up dozens of cups of spilled milk. 
  • We've caught at least 15 viruses. 
  • We've stepped on at least 10 matchbox cars. 
  • And we've destroyed the interior of two vehicles. 

But, we've only swallowed one foreign object
and fished one turd out of the bathtub. 
Not bad. 

I can count all of the stuff that sort of sucks about being a parent.

However, I cannot put a value (numerically or monetarily) on the joy our children bring to our 2 bedroom, 1 bath, 900 square foot house. 

Seth has a great sense of humor,
Korynne says cute things,
Jenna gets punchy when she's sleepy,
and Joel is just a happy kind of guy.

So, please, congratulate me.  I've been blessed with FOUR CHILDREN. 

Four children who look at me adoringly, who giggle when I tickle them, who ask me to tuck them in, who give me unsolicited kisses, and who grow up so fast I might miss it.  Just this week:

Seth started school and rides the bus, 
Korynne learned to buckle herself in the car, 
Jenna moved to a "big girl" bed, 
and Joel got his first tooth and is up like he's going to crawl.


Don't tell me I have my hands full...
because my hands are full and I can't smack you upside the head for stating the obvious. 

Don't tell me I'm busy...
I already do that math and I don't have time to tell you how busy I really am. 

Don't look at me as though I don't know what causes this...
I most certainly do ;).   

Children are a blessing
and a gift from the LORD.
Having a lot of children
to take care of you
in your old age
is like a warrior
with a lot of arrows.
The more you have,
the better off you will be,
because they will protect you
when your enemies attack
with arguments.
Psalm 127:3-5

1 comment:

  1. I must are the woman. Thanks for the afternoon funnies, too! :)