Thursday, July 1, 2010

Today's Request

It's hard not to let those thoughts flit through my head.  I'm not a worrier.  I really don't think of worst-case scenarios very often at all.  But it happens. 

I just sent my two oldest (3 and 2) with my mom to the movies.  It's a 30 minute drive in unfamiliar territory for my her.  While I trust her driving (heck, I survived 16+ years of it), I had one of those thoughts: "What if they never come back?"  I don't think that when my husband goes to work.  I didn't really even think that when my brother went to serve our country in a war zone.  But that thought flitted through my head just now and I had to remember "Be anxious for nothing". 
Aside on worry:  I don't think that moms who are cautious are worriers.  I think it's a God-given instinct that we think streets and heavy machinery can be dangerous and that water and open flames pose a hazard.  We are protective of our children when there is a potential threat... this is normal.  It's not normal to be gripped with fear.

Every translation says it slightly differently, but I like the English Standard Version of Philipians 4:6.
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

I have to admit.  I've had to remind myself of that a lot lately... way more than usual.  I met a gal a few months ago.  She was holding her fourth child and I was holding my fourth child.  Her little boy was 11 weeks old.  My little boy was 4 weeks old.  Just like me, her oldest is a boy followed by two girls and then a baby boy.  We had a great conversation about life with four.  We even "friended" one another on FaceBook.

Then, the unthinkable.  I received word that her little guy died of SIDS when he was 4 months old.  I still tear up (actually, I cry big tears) when I think about it.  Why do things like that happen?  My heart aches for her and her family.  Then I get selfish and I think, is there anything I can do to prevent it from happening at my house? 

My baby boy, Joel, is the sweetest, most content baby you've ever seen.  He eats and sleeps very predictably throughout the day and even sleeps through the night.  I feel like I know him very well: he doesn't like to have a wet diaper, he only poops every 6 days, he likes it when Mommy sings, and he loves his sister Jenna (she's 14 mos older).  But since that happened to my new friend, I have checked on his breathing every day when it seems like he's napped too long.  I watch for the rise and fall of his little chest in the mornings too.  And I have to consciously tell myself, "Be anxious for nothing" two or three times every day. 

It's the last part of that encouragement (maybe admonition) from Paul that I don't always heed:
in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 

I am so grateful for every moment I have with each of my children.  Thank you, Lord, for the gift of life and the privilege of motherhood.  But my request today: continue to heal my friend's broken heart. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Clara, I read this post and shed quite a few tears. How sad. Is this the mom that you met that day at McDonalds? I have a good friend who lost her two oldest children in a car accident involving a cold river in the fall of 2004. She survived but her kids didn't. The oldest was Faye's age and just 2 1/2 at the time, the youngest was 8 months. I cried for months and wondered why God had to take her children. It still makes me overwhelmingly sad to think about it. But they have clung to God and allowed him to be seen in their lives as a Good God for others to see Him and give Him praise. Last year they lost their house to a fire. And still they give God praise. They've had 2 other boys and she recently gave birth to her first girl, Serena Grace. I get to go and visit her in Spokane soon.

    All this to say, we trust God not for what He does or will do (because we don't know) but we trust God for who He is.

    Thanks for this encouraging post. I love all of your posts and I wish I had more time to comment. I just read your recent one about Seth going to preschool. I'm praying for you today dear friend!! Hugs to you. :)