Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Parental Baggage

It's nice to have a blog.  It's like a confessional for protestant hack writers.

In talking to other parents, I've come to realize that we all approach parenting with baggage. If your childhood was perfect, maybe you don't.  But the rest of us were raised by humans who didn't get quite everything right. 
  • In households where parents didn't argue, children tell themselves that they will hash things out with their future spouse so that their future children will know how to resolve conflict.
  • In households where there were too many children and not enough money, children tell themselves that they won't have a family until all of the education funds are set aside and there is a substanial "emergency" fund.  No child of theirs will miss out on one sports activity or summer camp for lack of funds.
  • In households where a child was inadequately homeschooled, homeschool isn't an option.
  • In households where children had to share a bedroom, bunk beds (and more than 2 children) are strictly forbidden.

I've been trying not to be critical (just observant) of others' parenting convictions even if I want to say, "Oh yeah, well what does the Bible say about that?"  Maybe as I listen to others, I will see my own parental baggage and try to moderate it - with God's help.  

So I confess.... The first hang-up that comes to mind is my No Sugar Rule.  You see, I didn't learn the best eating habits from my family so I want to give my children a good start... that doesn't include an addiction to sugar.   I know that I could go to the extreme and forbid birthday cake and popsicles in the summer, but I don't want my children to leave home and binge on M&Ms and Mt Dew because they never learned moderation.  I also don't want them to tell my future grandchildren, "Eat all the Cocoa Puffs* you can stand!  Would you like some more chocolate milk?" 

Have you discovered your hang-ups? 

*For the record, I do buy sugar cereals (on sale with a coupon) and we eat it for an occasional treat.



  1. I like this post. I actually read it when you wrote it, I've just been thinking about it and hadn't commented yet.
    We fall prey to this, but partially. There are many things that both my husband and I want to change for our kids, but there is one set of our parents that did so many things right that if we could just parent partially like them we'd be doing fabulous. I think it's important to remember that when you marry someone they will most likely have quite a different home life than you did and you have to have grace. Grace for the bitterness they may feel, and grace for the parents who were doing the best job they could for what they knew at the time. And I hope our kids have grace for us and all the mistakes we have made and will make. :)

  2. Hi Clara,

    I love our blog, I can relate to some of your post. Anyways I saw your comment on "The Coupon Project" under the Walgreens post for 6/12 and I was wondering if possible if I can have one of your Infant care Booklets. I always try to stock up on diapers because my twins go through it like water. The coupon would really help me out. My emai is if you would like to contact me. Thank you and your kids are adorable. I like how they are all about a year apart! Thanks!!Oh I also live in the PNW, I live in Spanaway.

    Jenery Politini